2nd Time is the Charm!

I’ve been gone for a while again, but it was for a better reason.  The doctors finally figured out the issue, I had surgery, and I’m back to work!  All of my extreme leg pain that caused me to barely walk, not be able to sit, and have problems standing was caused by my left ovary.  Which I no longer have.  It’s a very rare condition (of course!), which is why it took so long to be diagnosed.  And, I have a lot of back issues, so with the way the pain was, it seemed to be coming from my back.

I just want to jump back into life, and all of its activities.  I can’t, because I spent so many months barely able to move, but I feel like I missed so much that I want to make up for lost time right now.  So I’m doing as much as I can each day, and then falling into the recliner to recover.  It’s so wonderful to wear pants again, and to know I can just get in the car and go to the store if I need something, and that I’m not dependent on Husband to make it happen.

My family was amazing, and I couldn’t have made it through all of this without them.  I truly do have the best and most amazing Husband in the world.  It fell to him to do everything, including clothes shopping with Oldest One for sorority rush clothes, and going to the dance store with Little One for school dance class items.  He did it without complaint.  He drove, cleaned, cooked, shopped, and went to doctor’s appointments, procedures, and surgeries.  I know there is a lot more he did, but you get the idea.  He was there to make me smile, cheer me up, make sure I ate, hold my hand, and just be the most incredible all round best friend and Husband anybody could ask for.  I am truly blessed being married to him.

The girls were great too.  They got used to me just lying there, but they did a lot of getting me things, watching TV with me, talking to me, and helping me.  Oldest One did household shopping before she left for college, and she called me several times a week to chat and see how I was.  Little One would make sure I was comfortable, and keep me company, and was very happy to tell me about her day in detail.  My girls both cheered me up and kept me going through all of this.  I love them so very much!

I can’t say I’ll write every day, or even every week, but I’ll make an effort.  Getting back into the swing of things, and starting to run around again, as well as working full-time is going to keep me busy and exhausted for a while.  But writing and reading all of the wonderful blogs I follow truly helped me to keep going, so I don’t want to feel cut off from all of it.  And once I find my groove again, I’m sure it will include time to write, post, and read.

So for now, I hope everyone is enjoying the New Year, and that life is treating you well!

Ready to be Done

I planned to make this about Little One today, but everything I began swerved off track. Little One got me up this morning to do her cheer hair, which is a high ponytail with a side braid on the right.  The new uniforms are in, so this is the first Friday Varsity cheer gets to wear their uniforms to school, and at the game.  She looks adorable in her uniform!  The skirt was too big, but since they got the uniforms yesterday I pinned it for today (and have extra safety pins in my purse) and then Husband will sew it over the weekend.

I barely made it through doing her hair. I was in so much pain from standing that when I made it back to my bed I was in tears.  I barely slept last night because of the pain.  I could barely shower because it hurt so much to stand that long.  And that is a shower where I don’t shave my legs.

Since the weekend I’ve gotten progressively worse, so I don’t think the last 2 procedures, which were going to fix the issue, worked. Or I’m not understanding how they work.  I told Husband that I am questioning the original diagnosis, and really think it has to do with all my back issues, and not a small nerve trapped in my thigh.  My pain doctor probably thinks the same, since I’m now arranging for surgical consults.

My quality of life really isn’t what I want. I try so hard to be cheerful, and laugh about it, but then a day like today hits and I’m in so much pain I’m not finding much to laugh about or to smile about.  I also hate that I can’t do anything.  I am dependent on Husband to go to the store, and the pharmacy, and to pick up my medical records and scans.  I can’t drive, it hurts being a passenger, and even with a cane walking is difficult.  Yet tonight I’m getting in the car and attending the game to watch Little One cheer.  With lidocaine, ice packs, medication, and a special chair that fully reclines (I don’t sit in the stands, but next to them).  I don’t want to let the important things pass me by if I can help it.

I’ll go to bed tonight and be hopeful that when I wake up tomorrow the pain will be gone, or at least a lot less. Our plans for the weekend all take place in the living room, but since it is football season, and we watch college and NFL, that takes up Saturday and Sunday, so all is good there.  I’ll eat some chocolate, because that makes the world better.  But what will really help, and keep me fighting to get my life back, is Husband and the girls.  They make me smile, make me feel loved, and keep me going.  With them I can overcome anything!

Getting Back

It has been way too long since I posted anything. At first it was because life got a little crazy with my getting a promotion at work (yay!), the girls graduating (another yay!), and everything that went into all of that.  But then my life fell apart, and that is really why I haven’t posted.

I think letting the bad get in the way of my writing has not been good for me. I was really enjoying writing, and it made me happy.  I enjoyed reading the postings of everyone I followed, which also made me happy.  But in the long months since I’ve not posted, I also haven’t read the blogs I follow.  I intend for all of this to stop today.

At the beginning of summer my body gave up, the intense pain started, and I’ve pretty much been stuck in a recliner. I started out stuck in bed or on the air mattress Husband put up in the living room, so upgrading to the recliner was actually great.  With the help of a cane I can walk a little, and stand a little, and I can sit in a chair a little.  I can’t do any of these activities a lot, which is restrictive.  I haven’t been to work since this started, but I have watched almost the entire 9 seasons of The Walton’s!

I’ve had 7 procedures, and I was so very hopeful after the 7th, which happened 2 weeks ago. But, I don’t think it worked (although I’m supposed to give it a full month to take effect), because my pain spread a little, and I am having more problems walking than I was.  So now I have to get all of my records together and make appointments with surgeons.  I’ve said in the past that there was no way I would consider surgery unless I was to the point where I couldn’t walk and I was in constant pain…which is where I am, so now I have to hope I am a surgical candidate.

Pain is so wearing. I’ve lived with constant but manageable pain for 6 years, but what I am going through now beats all of that.  I’m on so many medications to help the pain I had to set alarms for when I’m supposed to take them, and then remember what I’m supposed to take when the alarm goes off.  I use 3 different over-the-counter creams when I go to bed to try and numb the pain so I can fall asleep.  I rotate them so I have a better chance of them not losing their effectiveness over time by my skin getting used to them.  Even with all of this I constantly hurt, and hurt fairly high on the pain scale…being at a 6 is a good day for me.

I am not doing too bad staying cheerful and optimistic, although Husband might say differently. I think blogging again, and reading other bloggers will definitely improve my days, especially since I’m almost out of Walton’s episodes to watch.  I really do have a lot of wonderful people in my life, and good things happening.  I can’t let the pain diminish that, and more importantly, I won’t.  So, I’m looking forward to reconnecting to blogging and bloggers, and upping the good over the not good in my life.  Happy Monday!