Bad Girl for Volunteering!

At Oldest One’s University there is an Alternate Breaks program, where during spring break student’s go to different cities and work with the homeless and underserved populations. I had told Oldest One about this program last year, and she recently applied to take part in it.  She was accepted into the program across the country, which costs a bit more than those in states closer to us.

We were still fine with it, since the program gets grants and solicits donations to make the fee the students have to pay very low. It is a fraction of what we paid for her Costa Rica trip.  And, since there are a couple thousand kids that apply, and she got chosen, we are also very proud of her for getting a spot.

She set up a GoFundMe page to try and get donations to help pay for the trip. She posted it to Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.  I only have Facebook, and I shared it asking anyone who wanted to support her to please donate.  Most people either ignored it or commented they thought it was great she was doing this.  Except for one person.

A family member’s fiancé, who tends to be negative (one day I’ll tell you all the story about meeting her…Oy Vey!) commented “Why leave the state to help the homeless? Couldn’t you help locally??”  Oldest One does help locally, and through University groups does volunteer projects to help the underserved populations.  I was just amazed that someone could look at her trip, and make it seem like a bad thing to be doing.

Oldest One could have asked us for money to go to Florida for spring break, where I’m guessing things go on I don’t want to know about. But instead she asked to go as part of a college program and spend her break helping those having a rough time of it.  Yeah, she is a rotten kid.

Oldest One answered the comment before I did, in, as one of my friends said, a very mature and articulate way. She very nicely pointed out that she will be able to do more, having an entire week, and that she will be able to interact with them in a very different way than when she only gets a few hours.  And she also pointed out how many students weren’t able to be a part of this.  My comment was how proud we were she wanted to help people on her spring break instead of partying.  Not surprisingly, the negative commenter didn’t say anything else.

With all the stories we hear of kids the age of Oldest One doing idiot things, and being narcissistic, you’d think Oldest One would get this person’s support for getting into this program and for wanting to do this. It shows a different side of this age group, and one I’ve seen in a lot of kids, that they care, want to make a difference, and are worried about the plight of others.

I didn’t delete the comment, or de-friend this person, even though several people told me I should. That she is negative and possibly narrow-minded is her loss.  I also don’t know how to de-friend someone, and I’m too lazy to figure it out.  I support my daughter, and many other people do also.  I’m proud of her, and excited for her that she has this opportunity.  One Negative Nellie isn’t going to change that.  Oldest One, and Little One too, are going to help make the world a better place.

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Quit Being a Work Jerk

I understand the difficulty of working in a place undergoing change. You hear vague rumors, or concrete conversations of where administrators would like things to go, but until a plan is rolled out, it is all speculation. I look at this kind of thing as the time to sit back and watch it all unfold. Others look at it as a time to come down on everyone in the workplace, and to assert their dominance.

Personally, I feel like one of the few constants that can be depended on is change. I wake up in the morning and change is already happening, because my today isn’t going to be like yesterday no matter how much I plan it. And it’s not like I’m great with change. Husband despaired of me ever being able to “go with the flow” in the early days of our relationship. I still like to have everything planned out, but I am also able to go with change much better these days.

What is irritating is people who are afraid of or don’t like the changes that seem to be coming in the workplace. That is fine, have your doubts and your negativity, but don’t put it onto me. People who are supposed to be professional (but usually aren’t) and who are supposed to be leading are some of the worst. I’m sorry you feel like your job is suddenly at risk of becoming something you might not like, but talking down to me and treating me in a dismissive and disdainful manner isn’t going to change anything. And I’m not the only one noticing the behavior.

I really like my job, and the organization I work for. I like my supervisor and my co-workers. But with things looking like a change is coming, people are getting noticeably more cranky. I understand it, but I can’t approve the behavior. Some of the problem may also stem from private life stuff. Which I don’t want to know about. I don’t usually have crankiness related to Husband and the girls, but when I do I don’t talk about it at work, and I also am very careful to not be abusive to co-workers because of it. Unfortunately not everyone does that. Again, I understand, because life intertwines and difficulties overlap, but if you are mad at a decision maker or your spouse, I’m not thrilled to be the stand-in.

Obviously today has been a day. In the last few weeks there have been more of them, and I don’t see an end coming very soon. I took this job knowing I wouldn’t be a decision maker, which was fine, I was ready for the change. Today, well, I still don’t want to change my job, or go back to what I used to do, but it would be nice if for one day it was acceptable to behave in the manner others are, just to give it back to them. But it isn’t, and I really want to be bigger than that. Really, I do.