Lately it seems we don’t have a day without a teenage girl crying in the house. It’s crazy, but I can’t remember the last cry free day we had. Little One is at that stage where anything can set her off at any time with no warning. I think Older One is, as she gets closer to leaving, feeling both the excitement and the scariness of living away from us.
Husband is not fond of the crying. He wants to figure out the problem, give a solution, and have it done. Unfortunately it doesn’t work like that. The girls might just be having an emotional minute and no amount of problem solving is going to help. They could be crying because of us, so we can’t offer a solution (some days saying no is a lot harder than others). Sometimes they don’t even know why they are crying, they just are.
As a teenager I wasn’t known for crying; I was known for never crying. Looking back that was just weird. What teenage girl doesn’t cry when a boy hurts her feelings or her parents yell at her? Me. My friends would comment on it, and how I never cried, but also how I was never serious and always joking. I cried for about three minutes the night we graduated, and that was it. Obviously it was my way of coping, not crying, and also just shoving things away that might bother me.
I do cry these days, which is probably a lot better for me. I can also shove things away (like my Mom situation) but I usually try to face and talk about issues. I can be serious, and am actually too serious sometimes. I still deflect with jokes, especially at work, but I usually do it in situations where keeping it light is the better way to go.
Little One wants to be hugged when she is upset and crying, and Oldest One just wants to be left alone. So we do both. And offer ice cream for the harder situations. Or French fries. Or both, because nothing helps with crying like ice cream and French fries. Sometimes it’s hard to know what will help the girls, but I’ve found giving hugs and letting them know they are loved is never wrong.